I hate a lot of you (most) auto people, I really fucking do - you're just asshole human beings who like to fuck with people. Most of you aren't very intelligent either, just sayin... - but you can't help it - you've been raised up this way in your industry - assholes breed more assholes and in-breed with more assholes so over time, you have an industry of -- well - assholes. (In addition, I think most of you were probably abused by a parent and now you take it out on your customers, the OEM reps and your vendors)
Call me bitter, call me angry, call me anything your Cro-Magnon brain can think up and it's more-than-likely true. But if you can get through my hate and disdain for you and your shitty industry, then you'll get some truth. Because truth will always reign supreme no matter what the emotional hangups of the truth-teller may be.
I love SEO and the practice of it and want it to be honest and forthright in every way. And what the majority of you knuckle-dragging auto pricks don't understand is that because you are such assholes, a good majority of the digital marketers and advertising reps who you work with; are also pricks, liars and assholes. They've become this way because they believe it's the only way to gain and retain your business. And, many of them come directly out of your business.
It Takes One To Know One
Yup, it takes a dick-bag to work with a dick-bag. So a good majority of advertising and digital marketing people who work primarily with automotive dealers are also dick-bags. In fact, a good majority of them used to work in dealerships or as dealer managers themselves.
Now you fucking dumb ass auto guys are thinking "Well, yeah, I want a digital marketing company that is staffed with people who know this industry inside and out."
And while some industry knowledge is important, it's not as important as having a fresh perspective from outside of the darkness, lies and dry-humping.
In addition, because so many of you auto guys and gals are lying mother-fuckers, so are those agency reps who love to say "I'm an auto guy" like it's some sort of badge of honor.
Whenever I meet a new ad agency rep or other vendor and the first thing they say is "I'm an auto guy, that's what I do" I oftentimes try to make myself vomit so I can shoot it on their lap as a display of how fucking stupid that statement is.
So Why Write This Blog
1) Truth always wins - I do make a shit-ton of money getting great results for my select few clients - "some" of them are awesome -- these are the ones that "get it." Some are actually folks who did not grow up in the auto biz but now work inside smart dealerships who have hired them because of their outside, fresh perspectives. I have to believe there are more "good people" out there in dealerships who hunger and thirst for blunt, honest truth without a sales pitch behind it. Truth always wins, and truth being given freely with no ulterior motive wins big. So remember that when your digital company tells you something, or when you read some blog post from some idiot who just got his 200th Twitter follower and now thinks he is a guru.
2) There are many misconceptions that need to be called out - there are several so-called "experts" inside the auto space who are basically full of shit but no one calls them out for fear of hurting their own business. I understand this so in this blog, I get to do just that and remain in anonymity. Don't like that? Think I'm a coward for not revealing who I really am? See number 1 just above. (Oh, yeah, and FUCK YOU)
3) Stress relief - my therapist says that expressing myself through writing is a great way to get rid of some of the stress I feel working with you fuckheads. Yes, that's because someof my clients get it, and the others are just like you - dickhead auto assholes. I do my best to say "fuck you" and fire clients who are complete assholes - and someday here soon, I will have found enough of the "good" type of auto clients that I can do just that. Until then, I have to work with assholes who stress me the fuck out - this blog helps me deal with that.
4) Passion for the internet - I truly do have a passion for what I do. I really like SEO and other forms of digital marketing. So I like to write about it, period. This of course, is something again, that most of you auto shit-faces don't understand. You have no passion for the makes or models you sell - you could care less if you fold Chevy, Ford or Hyundai. In fact, most of you couldn't even list the top 10 features of of models in your showrooms right now -- and that's because you have no passion for what you do - and that in turn makes you ignorant on top of being an asshole.
So there you go, like it or lump it -- take it or leave.
Feel free to comment, I love it when you all confirm what assholes you truly are.
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